


The Story of Who We Are

by carrotcouple



Series: Iridescent Skies (A Birthday Collection) [1]
Category: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Family, M/M, Multi, and how they meet each other eventually, before they meet each other, i may have tweaked events and the timeline a bit, in which we zen and takafumi, only a bit, this is a birthday gift for my lovely wifey!, this is kinda a story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 04:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16612313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrotcouple/pseuds/carrotcouple
Summary: “Ah, but won’t everyone in your group be bothered by how a newbie is taking a high spot?” Zen asked.“Well, I’m sure Yokozawa kun can handle it,” Tsakauchi smiled. “Right, Yokozawa kun?”“I won’t be bothered at all,” Yokozawa lifted his head and stared at Zen for a moment and Zen suddenly felt like he was being hit with an intense sense of deja vu. He was looking into eyes that had seen more of the world than someone at his age should have seen. And he was stubborn. Extremely stubborn. Zen felt a grin spread across his face in spite of himself.“Is that so? Well then, I hope you don’t mind if I go a little hard on you,” Zen grinned.“It won’t be a problem,” Yokozawa said firmly, his eyes almost fiery and Zen’s grin widened.“Well then, I look forward to working with you, Yokozawa.”





	The Story of Who We Are

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday to my precious wifey~ You mean so much to me and you have helped me through so many things. This is only the first part of your birthday surprise! I may be a tad late with the rest but be ready! You deserve the best birthday ever!!!

_Spring at Fourteen and Nine_

“Ugh, I’m in the same class as you again?” Zen groaned and dropped his bag onto the table he had chosen, right next to his friends. She turned, her eyes finding his and she glared. How she managed to make such hateful and fiery faces when she had such a tiny and frail body was a mystery to Zen. She turned completely and away from her friends, crossing her arms and frowning up at him.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the clown, Kirishima kun,” she hissed out. “I really do hope you managed to find yourself a brain during the holidays.”

“I hope you managed to find yourself a life, Fuyumi san,” he snapped right back.

“Good gracious, the new school year just started and you two are already trying to kill each other?” one of their classmates tried to come in between

“No worries, no one will be killing anyone. If he dies, it’s all his own fault.” She sniffed haughtily at him and then turned away. Zen grumbled to himself and sat down, angrily noticing that the girl was seated two seats in front of him. What a pain. He hoped she wouldn’t get to be class president that year. She would only get haughtier and more annoying.

Most of his friends were in the same class as him again so that was a plus, but his one friend that often kept that girl at bay so she wouldn’t chew Zen out was in a different class. Things would get stormy this year and Zen hated the mere thought. Why was she so uptight? They were kids. They deserved to have fun. Not everyone was a no-fun-goodie-two-shoes like her.

“Zen, let’s go for lunch,”

“Huh? Why are the girls coming with us?” Zen growled.

“That’s what I want to know,” his arch nemesis bit out.

“Huh? Didn’t you guys know? Tanaka san and Takahiro kun started dating.”

“That’s news to me!” Zen and Sakura shouted at the same time.

“Hey, shut up,”

“How about you shut up first, clown brain?”

“Sakura chan,” Tanaka Rei whined and Zen frowned. He didn’t want to make things difficult for his friends. Turning, he ducked behind Sakabe and tried to avoid Fuyumi Sakura altogether.

“Sorry, Rei chan,” he heard the girl say.

“It’s fine. I really do wish you guys would stop fighting though. Oh, but I brought those cookies we talked about the other day,” Tanaka Rei beamed.

“Eh? Really?!”

Fuyumi Sakura smiled and it seemed to light up the entire hall. Zen ungracefully crashed into a wall.

\------o------

“Yokozawa kun is strange, don’t you think?” Takafumi paused, clutching the book to his chest. It would be awkward for the girls talking about him if he went around the corner and they realized he was in hearing range. His parents told him that it wasn’t polite to eavesdrop. But he wondered if this counted as eavesdropping.

“Yeah, he’s really quiet and he’s always reading books and have you noticed he never talks to anyone unless they talk to him first?” Takafumi clutched the book to himself tighter. He liked reading, what was wrong with that? And he didn’t really know how to start a conversation. He turned and started marching back to the library. He could always just start reading his book in the tiny library filled with some books he had already read and several books he hadn’t read yet. He wanted to read them all.

“Oh, you’re back, Yokozawa kun. Did you forget anything?” the librarian asked him.

“I want to read here,” Yokozawa said quietly.

“You don’t want to read the book in your class?” she sounded upset. Takafumi’s stomach churned. The way it did when his mother got worried when he seemed upset about her leaving to work on days she promised to be with him.

“Do you want me to read the book in my class, sensei?” Takafumi managed out past the lump in his throat.

“Well, if you read it with your friends and talk about it you’ll have fun and you can even tell your parents about it.” His teacher smiled down at him and Takafumi tried to smile back.

“I’ll go,” he turned on his heel again and fled before she could say another word.

_Sorry, sensei. I don’t have friends. I can’t tell anyone about this book because I’m strange. Mom and Dad won’t be back home until I’m supposed to go to sleep. I can’t tell them. I can’t. I have to be calm and good and control myself._

Takafumi stormed past the girls, startling them.

_“Takafumi, you’re such a polite kid. Thank you for being our son,”_

“I’m sorry,” Takafumi hurriedly scrambled out an apology and a bow and dashed to the classroom. He ignored the eyes on him and went to his seat. He shoved his nose into the book and tried to wipe out everything else but the book.

“Yokozawa kun! I’ve read that book before! It’s interesting isn’t it?”

He jumped. And then slowly he turned.

One of the taller boys in his class was beaming at him. Takafumi flushed.

“I just started it, but I like it...” Takafumi mumbled.

“If you’d like, when you’re done with it, you can talk to me about it!” The boy grinned and Takafumi’s eyes widened.

 

* * *

 

 

_Summer at Eighteen and Thirteen_

Zen’s first thought when Sakura didn’t show up to classes was that she was late _again_. She had been late a lot recently. He told her countless times to stop overworking herself, but she was the stubborn type and refused to listen. But when Sakura hadn’t show up by lunch he started to get a little worried. She hadn’t replied to his texts. None of her friends had gotten into the same university so he was stuck feeling anxious by himself. When lunch finished he finally broke and called her home.

“Yes, this is the Fuyumi residence. Can I help you?” It was the sound of her father’s voice. He sounded tired and Zen felt even more worried.

“Hello, this is Kirishima Zen,” Zen said nervously. Her father knew that they were dating, but it still made Zen nervous when he interacted with her father. She was an only child and her mother had passed away a couple of years back.

“Oh, Kirishima kun, how can I help you?” her father asked him.

“Oh actually, Sakura hasn’t shown up yet and she’s not picking up my calls,” Zen said, leaning against the wall behind him.

“Ah, I’m sorry about that. She’s down with a fever. I took her phone away from her because I wanted her to rest.” Her father was always trying to take care of her the most. She was weak even though she picked fights and tried to overdo things and that made her father extra careful about her.

“I see,” Zen said. “I will see to it that someone from her other classes lets her know what happened today.”

“Thank you, Kirishima kun,”

“Would it be alright for me to visit later?” Zen asked.

“I will call you if she’s doing better in the evening,”

Zen tried to concentrate on all of his classes after that. But his mind kept drifting towards the fact that he had let Sakura over work herself and now she was sick. It was awfully quiet without her and probably because both of them argued too much.

He would have to be careful from now on and make sure she didn’t overdo things like she usually did. He’d help her if he could. He was capable of that.

“Ah,” Zen looked up at the sky as he walked out of the building. “It’s so quiet.”

\------o------

He told his friends that he couldn’t have a party. His parents were busy and they had no time to arrange something of the sort. Well, to be honest, he hadn’t told his parents that he wanted a party. They were busy enough as it was. His friends said they’d give him his birthday presents in school on Monday. His friends were excited about him finally turning thirteen.

Takafumi woke up early even though it was Saturday morning. He ate what his mother had cooked for breakfast and did the chores he had to do. His parents were off at work as usual and Takafumi was alone at home as usual. He didn’t mind, they cared about him and tried to give him as much love as they could when they had the time. Takafumi finished up his chores and then checked the messages on his phone. Several of his classmates had sent him birthday wishes at exactly twelve and he smiled to himself.

Eventually one of his close friends called him and he talked to them for a while. His friend suggested getting a pet and Takafumi almost scoffed at the idea. That would bring all kinds of troubles onto his parents. A pet would require so many things, things that Takafumi wasn’t ready to ask of his parents. After he talked to his friend he studied. He finished up all the homework that was due on Monday. Since he didn’t have much to do, he regularly studied and so he managed to finish up homework relatively quickly.

“Now what,” Takafumi murmured to himself. Perhaps he shouldn’t have woken up so early. Now he had nothing to do. “I’ll start making lunch, I guess. Knowing mom and dad, they’ll probably bring back cake to eat after dinner.”

Takafumi was proud that he could cook rather well. When he first started experimenting, his mother had tried to give him as much advice she could when she was free. His mother had already prepped all of his favorite dishes for dinner, he just had to finish it up. Takafumi made a simple lunch. He made rice and egg rolls and took out some seaweed.

He ate in silence and cleaned up in silence. He had bought several new books, so he took them out to read. He had nothing better to do after all. The new books he had bought were considered high level in his class and only a few other kids in his class were interested in reading such books. Takafumi was grateful that those kids were in his friend group. He had changed from loner to someone who had several friends now and that was nice. He was often told he was the most mature out of all of his friends though.

Takafumi woke up later and realized he had fallen asleep on the sofa. It was dark and he frowned. How long had he read and how long had he slept? He hadn’t been keeping track of time at all. He remembered briefly waking up to fix up what his mother had made for dinner. He reached for his phone and then stared blankly at the screen. It was late. Where were his parents?

He jumped when his phone rang and he scrambled to answer it.

“Yes, mom?”

“Takafumi, I’m sorry, your father and I will be running terribly late. Please go ahead and eat dinner without us.” His mother sounded sad and regretful and Takafumi smiled.

“No, it’s alright,” Takafumi assured his mother.

“I’m really sorry, Takafumi. Your father and I will make it up to you,”

Takafumi put the phone down and then looked up. The house was dark and empty. He brought his legs up and hugged them to himself. He was alone.

 

* * *

 

 

_Autumn at Twenty and Fifteen_

If there was one thing Zen decided to do right, it would be to find the perfect rings. Sakura had already outdone him and had asked him out _and_ had asked him to marry her. At this rate, his mother and father would hold it over his head for the rest of his life. He was already being laughed at by all of his friends. He totally hadn’t expected Sakura to ask him to marry him all of a sudden and he had only been capable of stuttering out a ‘yes’ as he blushed scarlet.

He had tried to ask some of his friends to accompany him in order to give their opinions on the rings, but all of them had abandoned him while snickering. He was totally going to get back at all of them for that. Sakura had no idea that he was out getting rings and he had taken all of his saving out in order to get the perfect rings. But jewelry shopping was utterly terrifying. There were so many options to choose from and different kinds of metals and stones and the attendants were just as terrifying.

Zen had bought earrings for Sakura before, so he knew she was allergic to any metal that wasn’t silver. Now, if only he could choose the right silver rings. Maybe he should have brought one of Sakura’s female friends. They would know what Sakura would like. And having a girl’s opinion in general was bound to help him. But the female attendants didn’t know Sakura and her tastes so he couldn’t ask them. There were two people next to him that looked like mother and son, but he couldn’t ask advice from random strangers.

Zen couldn’t go anywhere else. It was already late and this was the fifth shop he had visited. Next to him the mother and son were looking at a pretty necklace and were talking about something he couldn’t understand. They seemed knowledgeable. More than him at least. The attendants were trying to be helpful, but he was stuck on three different rings.

“What about the one on the left?” The boy next to him suddenly spoke up. Zen blinked and turned. He was pretty small. Maybe in middle school or first year at high school? Zen looked at the ring that the boy had pointed at and saw it was the one that was a simple silver band with a simple pink stone that Zen was sure had been named for him, but he couldn’t remember it.

“Um, why do you say this one?” Zen asked. Well, he might as well humour the younger boy. His mother behind him glanced at them but then returned to the necklaces she was examining.

“Well, you’ve been muttering to yourself about ‘which one would suit Sakura’, so I was just thinking you should go with the one colored like Sakura flowers since you can’t choose between the three of these?” The boy suggested. Zen stared at the boy like the boy had just dropped a flower pot on his head. How had he never thought of that before?

“Thank you! You’re a great help!” Zen reached out without thinking and ruffled the boy’s black hair. The boy yelped in surprise. “Do you always randomly help strangers like that?” Zen asked, with a wide grin. The boy blinked up at Zen and Zen saw the boy’s eyes were like that of an adult’s. How interesting.

“I don’t know,” the boy looked away. “My friends say I have the tendency to help people. That I have mother bear instincts or some crap like that.”

_And he has a foul mouth. How lovely._

“Thanks again, kid!” Zen said.

“Takafumi, we have to go,” his mother called him and he turned and rushed back to her.

 

 

* * *

_Winter at Twenty three and Eighteen_

It was snowing and it was cold and Zen thought he should just stand there, under the onslaught of the precipitation and just freeze to death. Maybe if he curled into the snow and laid there he’d die soon enough. Just anything. Anything to make the tears on his face stop, anything to make the pain in his chest go away anything that would make breathing less painful.

_Please, please, please, God. God, if you’re out there, bring Sakura back to me._

Someone was calling his name, but it didn’t matter.

_If you can’t bring her back to me, take me to her._

“Zen! Listen to me!” His mother’s voice broke him out of his stupor and she brushed the snow off of his head. Why. He was going to use that snow to die. “Zen, please,” she was pleading with him, tears on her face as well. Had she realized that her son had resolved to die? “Hiyori is crying, she needs you.”

_Warm brown eyes, pink cheeks, tiny fingers and toes and strange little baby smile._

Hiyo needed him. He couldn’t go to Sakura yet.

He followed his mother back

]into the hospital and he wanted to puke. Sakura’s now lifeless body was somewhere inside. He wanted to turn on his heels and walk back out. Into the snow and never come back. Just keep walking and stop thinking.

_Crying._

Hiyori was crying, her tiny little body shaking as she wailed in his father’s arms. Her eyes were squeezed shut. Barely any tears had left her eyes but she was screaming loud enough to disturb the entire hallway. Zen wanted to cry to. He numbly reached for her and froze. He couldn’t feel any strength in his arms. What if he dropped her? His precious sunshine, his beloved daughter, all he had left.

_“She needs you.”_

His father moved despite Zen’s internal fear and terror and put Hiyori into his arms. She was warm and he was cold. Zen was crying again, tears blurring his sight. How could he do this? How would he be able to do this without Sakura? Hiyori stopped crying.

“Zen, she’s looking at you.”

She _was_ looking at him. He could see that after his mother wiped his tears with her handkerchief. Her large brown eyes seemed to be able to look into his very soul.

_Ah, she looks like Sakura._

“Zen, don’t give up. Hiyori needs you.”

And he could hear the underlying message.

_“You need Hiyori.”_

\------o------

_Charming_.

That’s what Takafumi thought when he was first introduced to Takano Masamune. He smiled a small but flashy enough smile, wore clothes that made him look like he belonged on a runway, he seemed modest and intelligent. Not to forget that he had a very good looking face.

He was soon proven wrong of course.

_Takano Masamune was an utter disaster._

One drinking party was all it took for him to see that Masamune was practically a mess of pain and sorrow and his actual self patched up together poorly. Takafumi would rather sit through five of Professor Takeda’s lectures in a row than go drinking with Masamune again. Someone from Masamune’s high school apologized profusely, saying that he was in a very bad place mentally and emotionally.

Well that wasn’t any of Takafumi’s business.

_Except for the fact that the entire group dumped Masamune on him and left._

“We’re sure you can take care of him! You’re a mother bear after all!”

“What the fuck are you guys going on about?!”

Takafumi had no idea where Masamune lived! Couldn’t his friend have at least told him that? Masamune seemed totally out cold and it was ridiculous to think he could lug a man the same size as him around. Utterly peeved, he got a taxi back to his apartment and managed to dump Masamune on his bed. Takafumi didn’t have to sleep. He hadn’t had much to drink and there was a football game going on which he could watch.

_“Ritsu,”_

Masamune rolled on the bed, muttering a name. Takafumi turned, startled. Was he the type to sleep talk or something? Or was it just because he was drunk? Either way, the other owed him big time.

“Wait a moment, forget him owing you. Just don’t associate with him. He’s a wreck.” Takafumi got a bottle of water from the fridge and settled in front of the TV.

_Thump._

“Now what?” Takafumi groaned and got to his feet. Masamune was halfway off the bed, his shoulders twitching. He was making weird hiccupping noises. “Hey, hey, Masamune, you alive?” Takafumi asked as he struggled to push the other back onto the bed.

_He was crying_.

Takafumi sighed, already noticing the signs of his heart reaching out to comfort the other. He was too nice for his own good. He wished he could just keep up the grumpy, angry bear image. It would cause him a lot less trouble.

“Alright then,” Takafumi muttered, grabbing the blanket because - _it was as cold as the lower levels of hell_ \- and draped it over Masamune. “We’ll listen to your sob story in the morning and see if we can sort things out, huh?”

 

* * *

 

 

_Spring at Twenty four and Nineteen_

Zen shot up when the fire alarm went off. He cursed under his breath and he struggled to his feet. He had fallen asleep at the dining table doing work it seemed. He stumbled and almost fell as he rushed to his room. He flung the door open.

“Sakura, we have to-” He stopped. The bed was empty. Reality and the pain in his heart cut through the half asleep fog in his brain. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to shove the pain away. Cries erupted from further into the apartment. Hiyori had probably been awoken by the fire alarm. Remembering that there was a fire, Zen quickly went to Hiyori’s room. The little baby was wailing loudly and he bent down and scooped her out of the crib and into his arms. She calmed down just a little at his touch. Zen grabbed his phone and glanced at the wall clock as he rushed out and tried to slip on his slippers. It was four in the morning.

The hallway outside was filled with families rushing out of their houses. Zen pulled Hiyori closer to him. It was cold outside. He followed the Hara family down the stairs and noticed the father of the family was carrying two of their smaller children while the mother was holding the small baby who was around Hiyori’s age. Zen could almost completely imagine what Sakura would be like in this situation. She’d still be half asleep and wouldn’t be able to hold Hiyori for the life of her. Zen would have to hold Hiyori and Sakura would be leaning on him as she would complain to herself about the idiot who set off the fire alarm.

There were families all crowded downstairs outside of the building and Zen could heard the distant wail of the fire truck sirens. It was even colder outside and Zen tried to keep Hiyori as close as possible. She was whimpering, the cold stinging her cheeks. If only he could have had the foresight to grab extra clothes.

“Kirishima san?” The mother from the Hara family spoke to him.

“Ah, yes?” he asked.

“Is Hiyori chan cold?” she asked.

“Um, yes, I’m ashamed to say, I forgot to get extra clothes before coming out.” Zen ducked his head.

“That’s alright, I think it’s the first ever fire alarm since Hiyori chan was born. Here, you can have this jacket. Wrap up Hiyori chan in it.” She passed over a warm looking white jacket and he gratefully accepted it, trying to carefully wrap Hiyori in it without jostling her too much.

“Thank you,” he said with a tired smile.

“No worries, my Yuki is just the same age! If you ever need any help, be sure to come to us!” she beamed. Zen’s heart filled with temporary warmth. He had been feeling so alone ever since Sakura’s death. He had felt like he had to take care of Hiyori all by himself.

“Thank you, Hara san,” Zen said, the words choked with emotion. “Thank you so much.”

\------o------

_This isn’t my apartment_.

That was Takafumi’s first thought when he woke up. Well, it wasn’t unusual to end up in one of his friend’s apartments after a party. He could feel the hangover beating against the inside of his skull. As his thoughts cleared a little more, he realized who’s apartment it was. It was Masamune’s. The first man he had ever fallen in love with in his life.

_Am I in his bed?!_

He started to panic when he noticed an arm over his naked waist. It took everything in him to not jump out of the bed in pure panic. His eyes followed the arm up to a bony shoulder and fair neck tickled by midnight black hair. Takafumi felt his entire face flame up as his eyes rested on Masamune’s face. What was going on? What on earth had happened? How had he landed in the bed of someone he had been crushing on, naked? Masamune was naked too, now that he looked at him.

_“Masamune…”_

_Hands on his hips, lips on his neck, sweat trickling into his hair and the smell of alcohol._

Takafumi was now panicking as vague images started to come back to him. Oh boy, oh boy, he had gone and done it. He had slept with Takano Masamune, the man he was currently in love with. He could remember somewhat trying to drop Masamune off at his apartment and then the other had grabbed his collar and had pulled him forward and then had-

_Oh my god._

How was he supposed to deal with this? How was he supposed to handle a situation like this? Did this mean they were dating now? Or were they just sex friends? Or were they just going to brush it under the rug as an accident? _Would Masamune even remember anything when he woke up?_ Would it only be Takafumi who remembered what had happened?

Now Takafumi didn’t want the other to wake up.

What if he made a run for it and pretended nothing at all had happened?

_“Takafumi, look at me,”_

Masamune’s voice echoed in his brain and Takafumi flushed all the way down to his chest.

_I want this to end well. I want him to wake up and remember and not feel repulsed. I want him._

And although everything in Takafumi wanted to pick up his clothes and flee out the front door, he stayed still and waited. Waited for when Masamune would open his eyes and see him first thing in the morning.

“I’m doing something absolutely stupid,” Takafumi muttered to himself.

“Mhmm,” Masamune shifted and Takafumi’s heart hiccuped in his chest. He turned to look down at Masamune’s face and saw his eyes barely crack open, eyes barely focusing in Takafumi.

“Um...good morning?” Takafumi waited with his fingers crossed for Masamune to either break his heart or accept him.

 

* * *

 

 

_Summer at Twenty five and Twenty_

Zen just managed to send all the manuscripts to the printers and he dragged himself back home. It was ridiculous how many authors had been late this time. He usually tried to keep everyone in line and on time because he had to take care of Hiyori, but this time the authors had pushed things too far. The sun was just starting to come up and the skies were turning from grey to a slight pinkish blue. He wished he could show Hiyori the way the sky looked like. But she was probably asleep with his mother and father.

He wondered if he should just go straight to his parents place, but then he remembered that he had to take a bath and maybe eat something. He didn’t want to trouble his parents. Once he was done washing up and eating and he was sure his parents would be awake, he’d go and see Hiyori. He walked into his apartment and then trudged to the small shrine.

“I’m home, Sakura,” He put his hands together and bowed his head. It was strange how the pain had dulled so much since her death. He had known her since middle school and at one point, he had thought if anything happened to her, he wouldn’t be OK for the rest of his life. But here he was, raising Hiyori and being able to think of Sakura without his heart aching like something was trying to rip through it. Perhaps it was Hiyori’s presence that was the only thing that was healing him.

He took a long bath, letting the warm water soak his sore muscles. Then he warmed up some leftovers from the fridge and ate. He was tired and wanted to sleep, but he decided he’d only go to sleep once he’d seen Hiyori’s face. He sunk into his seat, his eyelids heavy. He shook his head and got around to cleaning up what he could. He checked his phone for any messages and there was an apology from one of his old friends from high school. Zen closed his eyes.

They had argued about Zen finding a new partner. His friend seemed convinced that it was the best idea for Hiyori and Zen had told him, it just wasn’t going to work. Zen may have been particularly vicious during that argument. He couldn’t think of anyone he could fall in love with other than Sakura. Sighing heavily, he sent an apology back and also thanking his friend for thinking of Hiyori, but finding a new partner for himself just wasn’t going to work.

He put extra clothes and other necessities into a bag and then started to head to his parent’s place.

“Oh, Kirishima san! Good morning!” a lady greeted him. She lived two floors beneath the floor Zen lived on. She had been helping parents by babysitting. If Zen was correct, she used to live with both of her parents but then they had died in a car accident a couple years back so it was just her.

“Good morning, Yoshikawa san,” Zen greeted her with a tired smile, dipping his head in her direction.

“Off to go see Hiyori chan?” She asked.

“Yes, my work finally finished,” Zen told her.

“You work very hard, I’m sure Hiyori chan will appreciate it one day,” she said.

“Thank you,” Zen said pleasantly.

“Actually, Kirishima san, I was thinking...are you free on Saturday?” she asked. Zen froze.

“I think I am...why?” he asked warily.

“Um, I was wondering if we could get lunch together and get to know each other?” she said quietly, her hands wrung together. Zen stared at her.

_“You, Kirishima kun. You’re going to take me to go eat monjayaki. There is no room for argument,” Sakura slammed a flyer down on his desk._

_“Hah?! Why do I have to?” He snapped._

_“Because, you’re a slow idiot so I’m asking you out on a date first,” she snapped straight back at him. Zen gaped at her._

“Yoshikawa san, I thank you for the offer. I’m really flattered, but I have to reject you. For me, there is nothing more important than Hiyo right now. I will not be accepting anyone new into my life any time soon,” Zen said as firmly as possible. “I’m sorry,”

She blinked up at him with wide eyes.

“Oh, no,” she shook her head. “I’m the one that’s sorry. Have a good day, Kirishima san!” She turned and fled. Kirishima turned and continued to walk in Hiyori’s direction. His right hand came to fiddle with the ring on his left hand.

\------o------

The morning sun burned into his face and into his skin. He wished it would burn him away to ashes. He knew he was stupid. He had known what kind of ridiculous things he was doing. He was aware that his agreement with Masamune was utter rubbish. If he knew what was good for him, he would get up and walk away from Masamune and never come back. He sat there on the park bench and watched early morning joggers run by him. He wanted the earth to open up underneath him and eat him. It would do him good.

Because no matter how well he knew that staying next to Masamune would do nothing but hurt him, he was madly in love with him and he hoped. He hoped that one day Masamune would realize and return his feelings. For the first time in his life, he wanted to be back home and curl up into his bed in the silence. He would be alone with nothing but his books and maybe at the end of the day he’d be able to greet his parents with dinner.

He wanted to forget the night before. He wanted to forget the alcohol on his lips, the taste of Masamune on his tongue, the way the other moved against him, he wanted to forget the way Masamune brokenly called _Ritsu_.

Takafumi wasn’t a fool. He knew everything already. He knew how hopeless it was to hope Masamune would look at him when the other was broken beyond belief by someone else, how hopeless it was to hope that someone who only sought for someone else would want him. He couldn’t keep up this ‘friends with benefits’ thing. It would destroy him. Takafumi knew this. It was a hopeless love. But, Takafumi didn’t want to walk away from the other.

Despite the fact that the future looked so terribly bleak, Takafumi wanted to cling to Masamune with broken, bloodied and bruised fingers. Because it hurt and because he wanted it to not hurt. There was only one solution. He would have to suggest breaking off their agreement himself and say that he wanted to stay as just simple friends, no benefits included. That way, Masamune wouldn’t have to awkwardly suggest it himself and they could stay as friends.

Takafumi could still stay by his side and take care of him and Sorata.

Takafumi steeled his heart and stood up.

“Alright, let’s get this over and done with,” he said loudly. He wondered how much chocolate he had a home. The hurt from this would require _a lot_ of chocolate. He’d go back home and hurt and eat chocolate. Well, if he didn’t have any chocolate, he’d buy some on the way back home.

He pushed open the door and walked in. Masamune was doing something in the kitchen. He had bed hair and already Takafumi’s heart was hurting. Masamune turned to look at him.

“Oh there you are,” he said simply.

“Hey, Masamune, I have something I need to say,”

 

* * *

 

 

_Autumn at Twenty seven and Twenty two_

Zen found that everyone in his editing group had come to adopt the same healthy lifestyle he had adopted in order to go back home to Hiyori. She was growing up rather well after all. He had to give her enough time in order for her to grow up healthily. And he does admit to spoiling her a little. Since his editors had been adopting that healthy lifestyle, they’d managed to push their authors to keep their deadlines more often than not. If not, Zen was usually called in to give them an earful.

“Kirishima san! Tsakauchi san is here!” One of his editors called. Kirishima sighed. Now what? What did the sales department want? If it was about the printing amount, he had already told them that they should make the number higher. If sales went down, it wasn’t his fault. It was theirs. The veteran salesman was standing by the entrance and he was talking to someone younger. He was well built, had dark hair and he stood straight.

“You need something from me, Tsakauchi san?” Zen asked, with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, Kirishima san, let me introduce you to Yokozawa Takafumi. He’s my second in command in the sales department, from now on,” Tsakauchi gestured to the young man next to him. Zen blinked and watched the man bow respectfully.

“I hope we can work well together,” he said. Zen was pretty sure he had met everyone on the sales floor and there had been no Yokozawa Takafumi. How was it that someone Zen hadn’t heard of at all had ended up as the sales second in command?

“Likewise,” Zen nodded at the man. He turned to Tsakauchi. “I’m surprised, is he a newbie?” Or maybe he had been transferred from another department? Probably not the anime department because Zen knew everyone over there too.

“He’s a newbie here, but not new to sales,” Tsakauchi explained. “He’s been handling a small time magazine that officially merged with Marukawa. He works very well and very efficiently, in fact better than anyone on my floor,” Tsakauchi laughed. Zen smiled, imagining the sales department shouting in protest.

“Ah, but won’t everyone in your group be bothered by how a newbie is taking a high spot?” Zen asked.

“Well, I’m sure Yokozawa kun can handle it,” Tsakauchi smiled. “Right, Yokozawa kun?”

“I won’t be bothered at all,” Yokozawa lifted his head and stared at Zen for a moment and Zen suddenly felt like he was being hit with an intense sense of deja vu. He was looking into eyes that had seen more of the world than someone at his age should have seen. And he was stubborn. Extremely stubborn. Zen felt a grin spread across his face in spite of himself.

“Is that so? Well then, I hope you don’t mind if I go a little hard on you,” Zen grinned.

“It won’t be a problem,” Yokozawa said firmly, his eyes almost fiery and Zen’s grin widened.

“Well then, I look forward to working with you, Yokozawa.”

 

* * *

 

 

_Winter at Thirty and Twenty Five_

It was so cold. There was snow piling everywhere and Takafumi grumbled to himself. The walk to the station would be annoying. He took in a long drag of his cigarette and remembered that he had promised Sorata that he would head home early. He stubbed his cigarette and then walked back to the office. Tsakauchi had retired once he had taught Takafumi all the ropes and had left Takafumi in charge of the manga sales. Several of the people who worked with him had been against it, but Takafumi had worked hard to get them all to acknowledge him. He always had been particular about hard work and keeping things in line so it all eventually worked out for him.

His sales department was one thing, but the other manga editing divisions drove him crazy. They all tended to treat him like a newbie even though he had already shown them on multiple occasions that he could do the work he had been given well. Especially Kirishima Zen from Japun! Sometimes Takafumi wanted to tear his own hair out when arguing sales numbers with him. There was no doubt that the man was flawless as an editor and leader and he had more experience than several of the people in Marukawa. He also was also amazingly organized. But his personality was the worst to deal with. Takafumi didn’t know what women saw in the man!

“I’m heading home early, I have an appointment,” Takafumi said. “If there are any problems, please feel free to call or email me, I will check them right away.”

“Alright! Good work, Yokozawa san!” the group called to him as he picked up his bag.

“None of you should stay here too late,” he called back at them all.

He was right, walking to the station was a pain. He might as well buy something sweet, he was in the mood for chocolate. He headed towards the cafe by the station that was selling limited edition chocolate bread rolls. He had been passed the flyer and annoyingly had ended up marking it in his planner. He was just approaching the cafe when he noticed Kirishima talking to himself outside of a shop that sold cakes and japanese sweets.

Takafumi groaned. Why did he have to run into him of all people after having left work? He ignored him and trudged through the snow to the cafe.

“...puffs are sold out, then what do I buy? I promised to get sweets! I’ll be a failure, especially since-” Kirishima was muttering.

“Kirishima san,” Yokozawa said. “Good work,”

“Oh, Yokozawa, good work,” Kirishima said in surprise. And then both of them frowned. Just a couple of hours they had been shouting themselves hoarse at each other in the meeting room. Takafumi tried to remember what he had greeted the other man for.

“I noticed you saying that you had to buy sweets. The cafe over there is selling limited edition chocolate bread rolls.” Takafumi pointed in the direction of the cafe. Kirishima stared at him blankly for a moment.

“Oh thank you! I needed to get something!” Kirishima started to move and then turned back to Takafumi.

“Aren’t you going to buy some too?” Kirishima asked. Takafumi was annoyed that the man knew that someone like him was about to line up for limited edition sweets. But he nodded and quickly followed after Kirishima.

 

* * *

 

 

_Spring at Thirty three and Twenty eight_

It was an unusually rainy spring. It had rained three times in a week and Zen had carried his umbrella all week. The atmosphere in the office had been unnaturally tense for around two weeks and Zen knew who was responsible. Yokozawa Takafumi, Marukawa’s local bear. Zen had no idea what was up with him, but he had noticed that he had been on edge for a while and it had gotten significantly worse recently. He wasn’t even any fun to argue with or tease. Pity. Zen liked his eyes, they burned with a fire that refused to be smothered.

Like Sakura’s eyes.

Zen shook his head. He needed to stop that train of thought right there. He had to admit, he kept an eye on Yokozawa, although the other had probably never noticed since he never seemed as concerned with Japun. He was often more focused on Emerald where Takano worked and that baby faced guy that produced really good books. If Zen remembered correctly, his name was Kisa. Yokozawa was stubborn and was extremely amusing when Zen got him worked up. Admittedly, he was Zen’s type.

If he could, Zen would be nosy and find a way to get that fire burning just as brightly as it was before. But that would be weird coming from him all of a sudden.

“Ah, speak of the devil,” Zen noticed Yokozawa walking up ahead. His shoulders were slumped and everything about him screamed, ‘I am a dead and sorrowful man’. And Zen itched to be nosy and intrusive.

Then Yokozawa ducked into a bar Zen frequented. Zen stopped. No way. Was he going to drink away his sorrows or something? Zen’s feet almost moved in the direction of the bar and he froze.

“No, don’t be stupid,” Zen sighed. He had to go back home. Hiyori would be waiting. He turned and continued heading home. Who cared if Yokozawa was Zen’s type? He was a man. That wasn’t a problem for Zen, but it would be a problem for Yokozawa. Moreover, Zen wasn’t looking for a relationship. All the ones he’d tried ever since Sakura had died had barely lasted two weeks. It just never worked out. Zen couldn’t fall in love.

And it would be stupid of him to approach Yokozawa knowing that fully well.

_“You’re not going to go back?”_ Sakura’s voice echoed in his head and Zen smiled to himself.

“No, I’m not going back. I can’t fall in love again,”

Zen got onto the metro and then walked back home. He was about to press on the elevator button when he remembered something vaguely.

_The eyes of an adult on the face of a child._

_“My friends say I have the tendency to help people. That I have mother bear instincts or some crap like that.”_

Zen stood stone still.

_“You really aren’t going to go back?”_ Sakura’s voice said again.

Zen spun on his heel, heading back towards the bar. It would be a pity if he could never see that fire in Yokozawa’s eyes again. At the very least he could find out what was wrong. He could lend a helping hand to the boy who had helped him for no reason at all.

“Hi, mom?” Zen said into his phone. “Can you take care of Hiyo tonight? Something came up.”

 

* * *

 

 

_Seasons of Eternity_

“Dad, Oniichan! You guys are late!” Hiyori called.

“I am not late! It’s your father that’s late!” Takafumi snapped from inside the room. He was trying to put on his tie, while also trying to wrestle Zen off of him. “Hiyo, I need you to get him off me!” He shouted.

“Ew, no way! I don’t want to walk in on you guys being lovey dovey!” Hiyori called back.

“Hey! It would help if you could stop acting like your father. I’m trying to put on my tie, but he won’t let go of me!” Takafumi said loudly. “Get off me, you big lug,”

“What do you mean he won’t let go of you?” Hiyori poked her head into the room and gasped. “Dad! You’re not even ready yet! Get off Oniichan and get ready this instant!”

“Eh, but I don’t want to. He’s warm…” Zen grumbled into Takafumi’s waist where he had latched himself onto, half hanging off the bed.

“Dad, do I have to call grandma?” Hiyori said threateningly.

“Oh god, not Rumi san. She always just laughs whenever I’m in a predicament.” Takafumi groaned.

“Dad, please? I don’t want to be late to my own graduation. Grandma and Grandpa will be here in five minutes.” Hiyori came and bent down to peer at her father’s face. She laughed. “Ever since Oniichan moved in you’ve been a horrible morning person.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll get up if Takafumi gives me a kiss,” Zen loosened his arms. Takafumi shoved him on reflex.

“In your dreams,” Takafumi scoffed.

“How mean,” Zen pouted.

“Dad, if you’re late, the breakfast Oniichan made will get cold and I’ll eat it all and take what’s leftover to my friends and I won’t give you even a crumb.” Hiyori pouted right back at her father, although it was more of a frown.

“OK, fine!” Zen whined.

“Oniichan, you should leave the room before Dad finds a way to cling to you again,” Hiyori said. Takafumi was already halfway out the room door.

“I’m already on it. I don’t need him to wrinkle my clothes. Ah, there goes the timer. Hiyo, help me take out the madeleines.” Takafumi noticed the the oven timer go off.

“This is not fair, you two keep ganging up on me!” Zen called from the room.

“Yes, yes,” Takafumi muttered as he and Hiyori took out the two trays of madeleines from the oven. “You better hurry up, or I’m going to head to Hiyo’s graduation without you,”He waited for Hiyori to put two heat mats on the counter. “Hiyo, wait for five minutes and then take three madeleines to your mother and Sorata.”

“Alright!” Hiyori sang. “Oh, I can introduce the two of you to Nakamura kun today!” Hiyori clapped her hands together. Takafumi almost dropped the tray in his hands.

“Hah?!” Takafumi and Zen erupted.

Hiyori burst out laughing.  

\------o------

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was good! I worked really hard on it and did so much research and rereading of the novels to get the timelines and most of the facts straight, though I did takes some liberties! Anyways! I absolutely adore this dorky family and I only want the best for them! Once again, Alia, my love, Happy Birthday!!!!


End file.
